Author: Andy Rooney

Quotes

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

- Andy Rooney

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.

- Andy Rooney

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

- Andy Rooney

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

- Andy Rooney

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly.

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly.

- Andy Rooney

The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.

The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.

- Andy Rooney

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

- Andy Rooney

It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.

It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.

- Andy Rooney

All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.

All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.

- Andy Rooney

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