Author: Bryan Callen

Quotes

Compare sending someone a text message and getting a love letter delivered by carrier pigeon. No contest.

Compare sending someone a text message and getting a love letter delivered by carrier pigeon. No contest.

- Bryan Callen

Some comics really thrive on being disrespectful, especially toward women, and it's somehow understood as edgy, but I'm the opposite. I've never liked curse words for that reason.

Some comics really thrive on being disrespectful, especially toward women, and it's somehow understood as edgy, but I'm the opposite. I've never liked curse words for that reason.

- Bryan Callen

Women find men attractive who are aggressive... but later on, they get worried that that aggression, that alpha energy, is going to be turned back against them and their children.

Women find men attractive who are aggressive... but later on, they get worried that that aggression, that alpha energy, is going to be turned back against them and their children.

- Bryan Callen

There are so many hot, sexy women in L.A.

There are so many hot, sexy women in L.A.

- Bryan Callen

Guys want a 500 horsepower car. I'd rather have one horsepower - in a horse. That's macho. You go to pick up your date and you show up on a horse.

Guys want a 500 horsepower car. I'd rather have one horsepower - in a horse. That's macho. You go to pick up your date and you show up on a horse.

- Bryan Callen

My point of view is that men are basically animals, and I'm okay with that.

My point of view is that men are basically animals, and I'm okay with that.

- Bryan Callen

Stand-up comedy is all you. It's your show, it's your game. You control every aspect of it - of that experience and that expression. There's really nothing quite as satisfying.

Stand-up comedy is all you. It's your show, it's your game. You control every aspect of it - of that experience and that expression. There's really nothing quite as satisfying.

- Bryan Callen

I guess I am attracted to older women. I'm looking for a 40-something who has had her heart broken two or three hundred times. She's going to be fun!

I guess I am attracted to older women. I'm looking for a 40-something who has had her heart broken two or three hundred times. She's going to be fun!

- Bryan Callen

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