Author: Dane Cook

Quotes

In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.

In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.

- Dane Cook

I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'

I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'

- Dane Cook

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

- Dane Cook

People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.

People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.

- Dane Cook

I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.

I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.

- Dane Cook

If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.

If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.

- Dane Cook

I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.

I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.

- Dane Cook

I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.

I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.

- Dane Cook

Anger has a way of seeping into every other emotion and planting itself in there.

Anger has a way of seeping into every other emotion and planting itself in there.

- Dane Cook

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