Author: Ellen DeGeneres

Quotes

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.

- Ellen DeGeneres

I have sadness in me. I have anger in me. I have heartbreak in me.

I have sadness in me. I have anger in me. I have heartbreak in me.

- Ellen DeGeneres

Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.

Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.

- Ellen DeGeneres

People give me such a hard time because I don't wear dresses. What's that got to do with anything?

People give me such a hard time because I don't wear dresses. What's that got to do with anything?

- Ellen DeGeneres

I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.

I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.

- Ellen DeGeneres

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

- Ellen DeGeneres

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