Author: Fred Allen

Quotes

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

- Fred Allen

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.

- Fred Allen

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

- Fred Allen

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

- Fred Allen

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

- Fred Allen

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

- Fred Allen

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

- Fred Allen

Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

- Fred Allen

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

- Fred Allen

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