Author: Fred Allen

Quotes

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

- Fred Allen

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

- Fred Allen

Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

- Fred Allen

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

- Fred Allen

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.

- Fred Allen

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

- Fred Allen

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

- Fred Allen

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

- Fred Allen

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

- Fred Allen

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