Author: Fred Allen

Quotes

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

- Fred Allen

Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

- Fred Allen

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.

- Fred Allen

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

- Fred Allen

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

- Fred Allen

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

- Fred Allen

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.

- Fred Allen

I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

- Fred Allen

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

- Fred Allen

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