Author: Fred Allen

Quotes

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

- Fred Allen

I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

- Fred Allen

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

- Fred Allen

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

- Fred Allen

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.

- Fred Allen

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

- Fred Allen

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

- Fred Allen

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.

- Fred Allen

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

- Fred Allen

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