Author: Fred Allen

Quotes

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

- Fred Allen

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

- Fred Allen

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

- Fred Allen

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

- Fred Allen

Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

- Fred Allen

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.

- Fred Allen

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

- Fred Allen

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

- Fred Allen

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

- Fred Allen

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