Author: Garrison Keillor

Quotes

A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.

A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.

- Garrison Keillor

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.

- Garrison Keillor

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

- Garrison Keillor

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

- Garrison Keillor

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

- Garrison Keillor

I want to resume the life of a shy person.

I want to resume the life of a shy person.

- Garrison Keillor

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

- Garrison Keillor

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

- Garrison Keillor

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

- Garrison Keillor

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