Author: George Burns

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Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

- George Burns

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.

- George Burns

At my age flowers scare me.

At my age flowers scare me.

- George Burns

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.

- George Burns

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.

- George Burns

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

- George Burns

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

- George Burns

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

- George Burns

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

- George Burns

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