Author: Gilbert Gottfried

Quotes

I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.

I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.

- Gilbert Gottfried

The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever.

The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever.

- Gilbert Gottfried

I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.

I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.

- Gilbert Gottfried

In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian.

In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian.

- Gilbert Gottfried

I don't know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I'm onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead for 50 years.

I don't know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I'm onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead for 50 years.

- Gilbert Gottfried

If you're a lead actor, people are just waiting to say 'you're too old' or 'you're too unhip.' If you're a supporting actor, you can just work forever.

If you're a lead actor, people are just waiting to say 'you're too old' or 'you're too unhip.' If you're a supporting actor, you can just work forever.

- Gilbert Gottfried

If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.

If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.

- Gilbert Gottfried

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