Author: Gilbert Gottfried

Quotes

I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.

I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.

- Gilbert Gottfried

If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.

If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.

- Gilbert Gottfried

I don't know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I'm onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead for 50 years.

I don't know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I'm onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead for 50 years.

- Gilbert Gottfried

If you're a lead actor, people are just waiting to say 'you're too old' or 'you're too unhip.' If you're a supporting actor, you can just work forever.

If you're a lead actor, people are just waiting to say 'you're too old' or 'you're too unhip.' If you're a supporting actor, you can just work forever.

- Gilbert Gottfried

In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian.

In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian.

- Gilbert Gottfried

The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever.

The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever.

- Gilbert Gottfried

I'm terrible when I have to fill up free time. My days, if I'm not working, I wake up and figure out a way to kill time until it's time to go to sleep.

I'm terrible when I have to fill up free time. My days, if I'm not working, I wake up and figure out a way to kill time until it's time to go to sleep.

- Gilbert Gottfried

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