Author: Gilbert Gottfried

Quotes

If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.

If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.

- Gilbert Gottfried

In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian.

In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian.

- Gilbert Gottfried

I'm terrible when I have to fill up free time. My days, if I'm not working, I wake up and figure out a way to kill time until it's time to go to sleep.

I'm terrible when I have to fill up free time. My days, if I'm not working, I wake up and figure out a way to kill time until it's time to go to sleep.

- Gilbert Gottfried

I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.

I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.

- Gilbert Gottfried

If you're a lead actor, people are just waiting to say 'you're too old' or 'you're too unhip.' If you're a supporting actor, you can just work forever.

If you're a lead actor, people are just waiting to say 'you're too old' or 'you're too unhip.' If you're a supporting actor, you can just work forever.

- Gilbert Gottfried

I don't know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I'm onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead for 50 years.

I don't know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I'm onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead for 50 years.

- Gilbert Gottfried

I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.

I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.

- Gilbert Gottfried

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