Author: Jay Leno

Quotes

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

- Jay Leno

I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good. Maybe you're not the best, so you should work a little harder.

I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good. Maybe you're not the best, so you should work a little harder.

- Jay Leno

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

- Jay Leno

According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton got for hers. Well, duh. At least his book has some sex in it.

According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton got for hers. Well, duh. At least his book has some sex in it.

- Jay Leno

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

- Jay Leno

In America, we like everyone to know about the good work we're doing anonymously.

In America, we like everyone to know about the good work we're doing anonymously.

- Jay Leno

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.

- Jay Leno

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

- Jay Leno

Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. You know what that means? There's still hope for Ike and Tina Turner.

Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. You know what that means? There's still hope for Ike and Tina Turner.

- Jay Leno

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