Author: Jerry Seinfeld

Quotes

To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.

To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.

- Jerry Seinfeld

Pay attention, don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.

Pay attention, don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.

- Jerry Seinfeld

We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.

We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.

- Jerry Seinfeld

Funny is the world I live in. You're funny, I'm interested. You're not funny, I'm not interested.

Funny is the world I live in. You're funny, I'm interested. You're not funny, I'm not interested.

- Jerry Seinfeld

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

- Jerry Seinfeld

Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.

Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.

- Jerry Seinfeld

The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.

The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.

- Jerry Seinfeld

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

- Jerry Seinfeld

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

- Jerry Seinfeld

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