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Author: Jerry Seinfeld
Quotes
Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
-
Jerry Seinfeld
We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.
We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.
-
Jerry Seinfeld
To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.
To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.
-
Jerry Seinfeld
Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
-
Jerry Seinfeld
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
-
Jerry Seinfeld
You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'
You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'
-
Jerry Seinfeld
The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!
The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!
-
Jerry Seinfeld
The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.
The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.
-
Jerry Seinfeld
Pay attention, don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.
Pay attention, don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.
-
Jerry Seinfeld
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