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Author: Jerry Seinfeld
Quotes
Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
-
Jerry Seinfeld
Funny is the world I live in. You're funny, I'm interested. You're not funny, I'm not interested.
Funny is the world I live in. You're funny, I'm interested. You're not funny, I'm not interested.
-
Jerry Seinfeld
We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.
We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.
-
Jerry Seinfeld
Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.
Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.
-
Jerry Seinfeld
Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there.
Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there.
-
Jerry Seinfeld
The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!
The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!
-
Jerry Seinfeld
The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.
The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.
-
Jerry Seinfeld
Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
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Jerry Seinfeld
That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.
That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.
-
Jerry Seinfeld
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