Author: Jerry Seinfeld

Quotes

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

- Jerry Seinfeld

We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.

We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.

- Jerry Seinfeld

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.

- Jerry Seinfeld

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

- Jerry Seinfeld

The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.

The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.

- Jerry Seinfeld

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

- Jerry Seinfeld

Pay attention, don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.

Pay attention, don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.

- Jerry Seinfeld

Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there.

Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there.

- Jerry Seinfeld

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

- Jerry Seinfeld

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