Author: Jimmy Fallon

Quotes

Thank you, yard sales, for being the perfect way to say to your neighbors: 'We think we're important enough to charge money for our garbage.'

Thank you, yard sales, for being the perfect way to say to your neighbors: 'We think we're important enough to charge money for our garbage.'

- Jimmy Fallon

The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

- Jimmy Fallon

Thank you... motion sensor hand towel machine. You never work, so I just end up looking like I'm waving hello to a wall robot.

Thank you... motion sensor hand towel machine. You never work, so I just end up looking like I'm waving hello to a wall robot.

- Jimmy Fallon

We picked the Red Sox because they lose. If you root for something that loses for 86 years, you're a pretty good fan. You don't have to win everything to be a fan of something.

We picked the Red Sox because they lose. If you root for something that loses for 86 years, you're a pretty good fan. You don't have to win everything to be a fan of something.

- Jimmy Fallon

I'd do entire music videos in my bedroom, where I used to stand in front of my television memorizing the moves to Michael Jackson's 'Beat It.'

I'd do entire music videos in my bedroom, where I used to stand in front of my television memorizing the moves to Michael Jackson's 'Beat It.'

- Jimmy Fallon

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food.

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food.

- Jimmy Fallon

You only think of the best comeback when you leave.

You only think of the best comeback when you leave.

- Jimmy Fallon

Thank you... fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at sports.

Thank you... fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at sports.

- Jimmy Fallon

Everyone looks so much better when they smile.

Everyone looks so much better when they smile.

- Jimmy Fallon

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