Author: Lewis Grizzard

Quotes

I gave 738 Rotary Club speeches, and it was just driving me crazy, so someone said, 'Why don't you charge money?'

I gave 738 Rotary Club speeches, and it was just driving me crazy, so someone said, 'Why don't you charge money?'

- Lewis Grizzard

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

- Lewis Grizzard

I'm a staunch believer in enterprise, and I'm glad I live in a country where - I don't think some people understand this, but if I work hard, I get rewarded for it.

I'm a staunch believer in enterprise, and I'm glad I live in a country where - I don't think some people understand this, but if I work hard, I get rewarded for it.

- Lewis Grizzard

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

- Lewis Grizzard

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

- Lewis Grizzard

Things are more complex today, and I think humor has changed a a great deal. People are more sensitive today.

Things are more complex today, and I think humor has changed a a great deal. People are more sensitive today.

- Lewis Grizzard

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.

- Lewis Grizzard

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

- Lewis Grizzard

I don't think I'm a bigot or a racist. But I have a truck, a Blazer. I drink beer. There are some women I do hate.

I don't think I'm a bigot or a racist. But I have a truck, a Blazer. I drink beer. There are some women I do hate.

- Lewis Grizzard

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