Author: Michelle Wolf

Quotes

I was a kinesiology major in college, which is exercise science. Then, I was either going to get my Ph.D. or go to medical school, but I was kind of burned out after school.

I was a kinesiology major in college, which is exercise science. Then, I was either going to get my Ph.D. or go to medical school, but I was kind of burned out after school.

- Michelle Wolf

I would love to be a dad. There are plenty of comedians who have kids. But they're dads. Being a dad is so different from being a mom.

I would love to be a dad. There are plenty of comedians who have kids. But they're dads. Being a dad is so different from being a mom.

- Michelle Wolf

I think Trump is terrible for comedy. A lot of people say he is great. He's not. You can't joke a joke.

I think Trump is terrible for comedy. A lot of people say he is great. He's not. You can't joke a joke.

- Michelle Wolf

I think I'm a good joke writer. I'm also very scared that the last joke I wrote is the last joke I'll ever write.

I think I'm a good joke writer. I'm also very scared that the last joke I wrote is the last joke I'll ever write.

- Michelle Wolf

I don't want to be in a relationship for the same reason I don't want a kid: I don't want anything in my life to be more important than me.

I don't want to be in a relationship for the same reason I don't want a kid: I don't want anything in my life to be more important than me.

- Michelle Wolf

A good joke can work in New York and Kentucky.

A good joke can work in New York and Kentucky.

- Michelle Wolf

When I'm on the road, I eat like I'm on the third day of a hiking trip all the time. I'm eating beef jerky and trail mix constantly.

When I'm on the road, I eat like I'm on the third day of a hiking trip all the time. I'm eating beef jerky and trail mix constantly.

- Michelle Wolf

People can be successful for a short period of time, but only a handful of people are successful for decades.

People can be successful for a short period of time, but only a handful of people are successful for decades.

- Michelle Wolf

I always almost miss my flight. My routine is to constantly, no matter how bad or good the traffic is, to almost miss my flight.

I always almost miss my flight. My routine is to constantly, no matter how bad or good the traffic is, to almost miss my flight.

- Michelle Wolf

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