Author: Norm MacDonald

Quotes

You can't love your team without hating another team.

You can't love your team without hating another team.

- Norm MacDonald

When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man. Until Tiger showed up, they weren't in very good shape.

When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man. Until Tiger showed up, they weren't in very good shape.

- Norm MacDonald

So much in L.A. is waiting. It's so irritating. That's what's good about stand-up. You can go away, and you don't have to sit and wait by your phone. But it is very frustrating.

So much in L.A. is waiting. It's so irritating. That's what's good about stand-up. You can go away, and you don't have to sit and wait by your phone. But it is very frustrating.

- Norm MacDonald

All my life's about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn't cost very much money.

All my life's about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn't cost very much money.

- Norm MacDonald

I'm a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don't remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio.

I'm a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don't remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio.

- Norm MacDonald

In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That's what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn't have a stupid opinion about it.

In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That's what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn't have a stupid opinion about it.

- Norm MacDonald

It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.

It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.

- Norm MacDonald

I didn't really want to inject myself into anything political. A lot of people were asking me at the time about Jay and Conan, and I hate doing anything serious.

I didn't really want to inject myself into anything political. A lot of people were asking me at the time about Jay and Conan, and I hate doing anything serious.

- Norm MacDonald

Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.

Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.

- Norm MacDonald

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