Author: Paula Poundstone

Quotes

I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.

I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.

- Paula Poundstone

I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long.

I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long.

- Paula Poundstone

I'm thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going.

I'm thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going.

- Paula Poundstone

I only do two things in my life, and that's take care of my kids and work. Fortunately, these are my favorite things to do, so it works out.

I only do two things in my life, and that's take care of my kids and work. Fortunately, these are my favorite things to do, so it works out.

- Paula Poundstone

How do you come back? It's one step at a time. I'm optimistic because I don't know what else to be.

How do you come back? It's one step at a time. I'm optimistic because I don't know what else to be.

- Paula Poundstone

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

- Paula Poundstone

I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe.

I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe.

- Paula Poundstone

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

- Paula Poundstone

I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family.

I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family.

- Paula Poundstone

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