Author: Robert Orben

Quotes

Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.

Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.

- Robert Orben

Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success.

Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success.

- Robert Orben

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?

- Robert Orben

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

- Robert Orben

Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet.

Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet.

- Robert Orben

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

- Robert Orben

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

- Robert Orben

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.

- Robert Orben

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

- Robert Orben

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