Author: Tim Allen

Quotes

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.

- Tim Allen

I have an only child. She's so independent and good with adults.

I have an only child. She's so independent and good with adults.

- Tim Allen

I don't understand why it has to be either - or - either socialism or democracy. Why can't we combine things to get the best of each system?

I don't understand why it has to be either - or - either socialism or democracy. Why can't we combine things to get the best of each system?

- Tim Allen

Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words 'large' or 'size' with 'rear end.' Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.

Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words 'large' or 'size' with 'rear end.' Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.

- Tim Allen

Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.

Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.

- Tim Allen

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

- Tim Allen

I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

- Tim Allen

I love doing logos. I've been a graphic artist all my life.

I love doing logos. I've been a graphic artist all my life.

- Tim Allen

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

- Tim Allen

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