Author: Tim Conway

Quotes

If only my folks had beaten me, I could have gotten some material about my miserable childhood. But as it is, I've had a great life.

If only my folks had beaten me, I could have gotten some material about my miserable childhood. But as it is, I've had a great life.

- Tim Conway

I avoid all the language and nudity and violence and everything. I have enough of that at home.

I avoid all the language and nudity and violence and everything. I have enough of that at home.

- Tim Conway

Don Knotts was a really big influence, especially on the Steve Allen show. I mean, look at the guy, his entire life is in his face.

Don Knotts was a really big influence, especially on the Steve Allen show. I mean, look at the guy, his entire life is in his face.

- Tim Conway

If I wouldn't offend my religion or God, why would I want to offend an audience because in effect those people are being watched over by the same person.

If I wouldn't offend my religion or God, why would I want to offend an audience because in effect those people are being watched over by the same person.

- Tim Conway

When you're small, you either are funny, or you get beat up a lot.

When you're small, you either are funny, or you get beat up a lot.

- Tim Conway

You can't TV surf without coming across an Andy of Mayberry episode where you've just got to watch Don as Barney. That's why I put Don in several of my movies.

You can't TV surf without coming across an Andy of Mayberry episode where you've just got to watch Don as Barney. That's why I put Don in several of my movies.

- Tim Conway

My parents were very funny - they didn't know it. But they were. They were actually sharing an IQ.

My parents were very funny - they didn't know it. But they were. They were actually sharing an IQ.

- Tim Conway

At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn't much of a future in it.

At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn't much of a future in it.

- Tim Conway

Harvey never had an original idea or thought in his life. I was out wandering around the country doing charity benefits, mainly, when I asked him to come along.

Harvey never had an original idea or thought in his life. I was out wandering around the country doing charity benefits, mainly, when I asked him to come along.

- Tim Conway

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