Author: Tim Conway

Quotes

I figure you're only here for a matter of moments. Ever since I was a kid watching movies I've always wanted to make people laugh or have some sort of emotional reaction.

I figure you're only here for a matter of moments. Ever since I was a kid watching movies I've always wanted to make people laugh or have some sort of emotional reaction.

- Tim Conway

When you're small, you either are funny, or you get beat up a lot.

When you're small, you either are funny, or you get beat up a lot.

- Tim Conway

If I wouldn't offend my religion or God, why would I want to offend an audience because in effect those people are being watched over by the same person.

If I wouldn't offend my religion or God, why would I want to offend an audience because in effect those people are being watched over by the same person.

- Tim Conway

I've never really taken anything very seriously. I enjoy life because I enjoy making other people enjoy it.

I've never really taken anything very seriously. I enjoy life because I enjoy making other people enjoy it.

- Tim Conway

If only my folks had beaten me, I could have gotten some material about my miserable childhood. But as it is, I've had a great life.

If only my folks had beaten me, I could have gotten some material about my miserable childhood. But as it is, I've had a great life.

- Tim Conway

My parents were very funny - they didn't know it. But they were. They were actually sharing an IQ.

My parents were very funny - they didn't know it. But they were. They were actually sharing an IQ.

- Tim Conway

I avoid all the language and nudity and violence and everything. I have enough of that at home.

I avoid all the language and nudity and violence and everything. I have enough of that at home.

- Tim Conway

At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn't much of a future in it.

At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn't much of a future in it.

- Tim Conway

I like to work a lot with wood. I make furniture that falls apart. I also sew.

I like to work a lot with wood. I make furniture that falls apart. I also sew.

- Tim Conway

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