Author: W. C. Fields

Quotes

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

- W. C. Fields

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

- W. C. Fields

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.

- W. C. Fields

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

- W. C. Fields

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

- W. C. Fields

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

- W. C. Fields

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

- W. C. Fields

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

- W. C. Fields

I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.

I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.

- W. C. Fields

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