Author: W. C. Fields

Quotes

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

- W. C. Fields

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

- W. C. Fields

I like children - fried.

I like children - fried.

- W. C. Fields

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.

- W. C. Fields

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.

- W. C. Fields

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

- W. C. Fields

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

- W. C. Fields

I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.

I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.

- W. C. Fields

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

- W. C. Fields

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