Author: W. C. Fields

Quotes

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

- W. C. Fields

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

- W. C. Fields

I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.

I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.

- W. C. Fields

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.

- W. C. Fields

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

- W. C. Fields

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

- W. C. Fields

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

- W. C. Fields

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

- W. C. Fields

I like children - fried.

I like children - fried.

- W. C. Fields

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