Author: W. C. Fields

Quotes

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

- W. C. Fields

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

- W. C. Fields

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.

- W. C. Fields

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

- W. C. Fields

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

- W. C. Fields

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

- W. C. Fields

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.

- W. C. Fields

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.

- W. C. Fields

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

- W. C. Fields

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