Author: Artie Lange

Quotes

By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't plan on working that long.

By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't plan on working that long.

- Artie Lange

It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world.

It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world.

- Artie Lange

And now it looks like I'm probably going to shoot a movie that I wrote. I got the money to do it, and I would star and all, because of being on Howard.

And now it looks like I'm probably going to shoot a movie that I wrote. I got the money to do it, and I would star and all, because of being on Howard.

- Artie Lange

When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.

When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.

- Artie Lange

I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.

I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.

- Artie Lange

Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that.

Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that.

- Artie Lange

To tell you the truth, I always wanted to be a sketch comedian and a comedy actor.

To tell you the truth, I always wanted to be a sketch comedian and a comedy actor.

- Artie Lange

I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.

I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.

- Artie Lange

Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.

Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.

- Artie Lange

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