Author: David Letterman

Quotes

I have found that the only thing that does bring you happiness is doing something good for somebody who is incapable of doing it for themselves.

I have found that the only thing that does bring you happiness is doing something good for somebody who is incapable of doing it for themselves.

- David Letterman

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.

- David Letterman

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.

- David Letterman

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.

- David Letterman

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.

- David Letterman

Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water.

Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water.

- David Letterman

Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed.

Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed.

- David Letterman

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

- David Letterman

It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?

It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?

- David Letterman

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