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Author: Henny Youngman
Quotes
While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
-
Henny Youngman
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
-
Henny Youngman
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
-
Henny Youngman
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
-
Henny Youngman
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.
-
Henny Youngman
When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.
When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.
-
Henny Youngman
I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.
I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.
-
Henny Youngman
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
-
Henny Youngman
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
-
Henny Youngman
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