Author: Johnny Carson

Quotes

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

- Johnny Carson

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.

- Johnny Carson

There comes a time or a moment when you know in which direction you're going to go. I know it happened to me when I was quite young.

There comes a time or a moment when you know in which direction you're going to go. I know it happened to me when I was quite young.

- Johnny Carson

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

- Johnny Carson

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

- Johnny Carson

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

- Johnny Carson

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

- Johnny Carson

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'

- Johnny Carson

For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

- Johnny Carson

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