Author: Johnny Carson

Quotes

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'

- Johnny Carson

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.

- Johnny Carson

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

- Johnny Carson

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

- Johnny Carson

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

- Johnny Carson

People thought I was funny, so I kind of took entertaining for granted... it was inevitable that I'd start giving little performances.

People thought I was funny, so I kind of took entertaining for granted... it was inevitable that I'd start giving little performances.

- Johnny Carson

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

- Johnny Carson

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

- Johnny Carson

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

- Johnny Carson

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