Author: Johnny Carson

Quotes

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.

- Johnny Carson

There comes a time or a moment when you know in which direction you're going to go. I know it happened to me when I was quite young.

There comes a time or a moment when you know in which direction you're going to go. I know it happened to me when I was quite young.

- Johnny Carson

People thought I was funny, so I kind of took entertaining for granted... it was inevitable that I'd start giving little performances.

People thought I was funny, so I kind of took entertaining for granted... it was inevitable that I'd start giving little performances.

- Johnny Carson

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

- Johnny Carson

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

- Johnny Carson

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

- Johnny Carson

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

- Johnny Carson

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

- Johnny Carson

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'

- Johnny Carson

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