Author: Johnny Carson

Quotes

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

- Johnny Carson

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'

- Johnny Carson

If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

- Johnny Carson

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.

- Johnny Carson

For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

- Johnny Carson

My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

- Johnny Carson

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.

- Johnny Carson

People thought I was funny, so I kind of took entertaining for granted... it was inevitable that I'd start giving little performances.

People thought I was funny, so I kind of took entertaining for granted... it was inevitable that I'd start giving little performances.

- Johnny Carson

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

- Johnny Carson

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