Author: Johnny Carson

Quotes

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

- Johnny Carson

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

- Johnny Carson

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

- Johnny Carson

My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

- Johnny Carson

There comes a time or a moment when you know in which direction you're going to go. I know it happened to me when I was quite young.

There comes a time or a moment when you know in which direction you're going to go. I know it happened to me when I was quite young.

- Johnny Carson

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

- Johnny Carson

People thought I was funny, so I kind of took entertaining for granted... it was inevitable that I'd start giving little performances.

People thought I was funny, so I kind of took entertaining for granted... it was inevitable that I'd start giving little performances.

- Johnny Carson

For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

- Johnny Carson

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

- Johnny Carson

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