Author: Les Dawson

Quotes

The way prices are rising, the good old days are last week.

The way prices are rising, the good old days are last week.

- Les Dawson

The mother-in-law had an accident at work. A hot rivet dropped down her drawers and she fell off the oil rig.

The mother-in-law had an accident at work. A hot rivet dropped down her drawers and she fell off the oil rig.

- Les Dawson

My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to let her in.

My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to let her in.

- Les Dawson

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.

- Les Dawson

The mother-in-law is the centre of a family.

The mother-in-law is the centre of a family.

- Les Dawson

I need to give affection and love, because without that, I wither. I need to give that love to someone. Without that, I'm rudderless.

I need to give affection and love, because without that, I wither. I need to give that love to someone. Without that, I'm rudderless.

- Les Dawson

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

- Les Dawson

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

- Les Dawson

I've got a friend who is a lion tamer. He used to be a school teacher till he lost his nerve.

I've got a friend who is a lion tamer. He used to be a school teacher till he lost his nerve.

- Les Dawson

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