Author: Milton Berle

Quotes

It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now.

It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now.

- Milton Berle

Like every comedian, if I heard a joke that I thought would work, I used it.

Like every comedian, if I heard a joke that I thought would work, I used it.

- Milton Berle

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

- Milton Berle

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

- Milton Berle

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

- Milton Berle

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.

- Milton Berle

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

- Milton Berle

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

- Milton Berle

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

- Milton Berle

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