Author: Milton Berle

Quotes

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

- Milton Berle

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

- Milton Berle

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

- Milton Berle

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

- Milton Berle

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

- Milton Berle

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

- Milton Berle

Money can't buy you happiness, but it helps you look for it in a lot more places.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it helps you look for it in a lot more places.

- Milton Berle

Like every comedian, if I heard a joke that I thought would work, I used it.

Like every comedian, if I heard a joke that I thought would work, I used it.

- Milton Berle

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

- Milton Berle

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