Author: Rita Rudner

Quotes

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

- Rita Rudner

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

- Rita Rudner

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.

- Rita Rudner

It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

- Rita Rudner

To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'

To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'

- Rita Rudner

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

- Rita Rudner

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

- Rita Rudner

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

- Rita Rudner

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

- Rita Rudner

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