Author: Rita Rudner

Quotes

Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'

Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'

- Rita Rudner

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.

- Rita Rudner

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

- Rita Rudner

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

- Rita Rudner

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.

- Rita Rudner

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

- Rita Rudner

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

- Rita Rudner

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

- Rita Rudner

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

- Rita Rudner

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