Author: Rita Rudner

Quotes

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

- Rita Rudner

Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'

Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'

- Rita Rudner

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

- Rita Rudner

It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

- Rita Rudner

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

- Rita Rudner

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

- Rita Rudner

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

- Rita Rudner

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.

- Rita Rudner

Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

- Rita Rudner

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