Author: Robert Benchley

Quotes

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

- Robert Benchley

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.

- Robert Benchley

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

- Robert Benchley

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

- Robert Benchley

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

- Robert Benchley

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

- Robert Benchley

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

- Robert Benchley

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

- Robert Benchley

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.

- Robert Benchley

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