Author: Robert Benchley

Quotes

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

- Robert Benchley

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

- Robert Benchley

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.

- Robert Benchley

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

- Robert Benchley

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

- Robert Benchley

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.

- Robert Benchley

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

- Robert Benchley

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

- Robert Benchley

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

- Robert Benchley

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