Author: Tommy Cooper

Quotes

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

- Tommy Cooper

A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'

A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'

- Tommy Cooper

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.

- Tommy Cooper

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!

- Tommy Cooper

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