Author: Woody Allen

Quotes

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

- Woody Allen

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

- Woody Allen

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

- Woody Allen

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

- Woody Allen

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

- Woody Allen

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

- Woody Allen

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

- Woody Allen

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.

- Woody Allen

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

- Woody Allen

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