Author: Woody Allen

Quotes

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

- Woody Allen

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

- Woody Allen

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

- Woody Allen

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

- Woody Allen

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

- Woody Allen

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

- Woody Allen

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

- Woody Allen

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

- Woody Allen

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

- Woody Allen

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