Author: Woody Allen

Quotes

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

- Woody Allen

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

- Woody Allen

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

- Woody Allen

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

- Woody Allen

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

- Woody Allen

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

- Woody Allen

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

- Woody Allen

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

- Woody Allen

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

- Woody Allen

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