Author: Elayne Boosler

Quotes

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.

- Elayne Boosler

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

- Elayne Boosler

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

- Elayne Boosler

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

- Elayne Boosler

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.

- Elayne Boosler

We have wild animals in zoos, yet people rarely meet their 'food' face to face.

We have wild animals in zoos, yet people rarely meet their 'food' face to face.

- Elayne Boosler

My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.

My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.

- Elayne Boosler

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.

- Elayne Boosler

Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?

Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?

- Elayne Boosler

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