Author: Groucho Marx

Quotes

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

- Groucho Marx

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

- Groucho Marx

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

- Groucho Marx

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

- Groucho Marx

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

- Groucho Marx

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

- Groucho Marx

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

- Groucho Marx

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

- Groucho Marx

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

- Groucho Marx

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