Author: Groucho Marx

Quotes

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

- Groucho Marx

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

- Groucho Marx

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

- Groucho Marx

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.

- Groucho Marx

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

- Groucho Marx

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

- Groucho Marx

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

- Groucho Marx

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

- Groucho Marx

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

- Groucho Marx

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