Author: Groucho Marx

Quotes

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

- Groucho Marx

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

- Groucho Marx

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

- Groucho Marx

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

- Groucho Marx

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

- Groucho Marx

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

- Groucho Marx

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.

- Groucho Marx

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

- Groucho Marx

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

- Groucho Marx

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