Author: Groucho Marx

Quotes

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

- Groucho Marx

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

- Groucho Marx

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

- Groucho Marx

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

- Groucho Marx

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

- Groucho Marx

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

- Groucho Marx

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

- Groucho Marx

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

- Groucho Marx

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.

- Groucho Marx

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