Author: Jackie Mason

Quotes

I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.

I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.

- Jackie Mason

I can't predict the future and I don't have respect for people who try to.

I can't predict the future and I don't have respect for people who try to.

- Jackie Mason

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.

- Jackie Mason

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.

- Jackie Mason

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

- Jackie Mason

I have nothing but love in my heart and everything I say is just an instrument for laughs.

I have nothing but love in my heart and everything I say is just an instrument for laughs.

- Jackie Mason

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.

- Jackie Mason

I can't pretend that I'm a great student of the art of comedy because anybody that becomes philosophical about humour doesn't know what he's talking about.

I can't pretend that I'm a great student of the art of comedy because anybody that becomes philosophical about humour doesn't know what he's talking about.

- Jackie Mason

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