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Author: Phyllis Diller
Picture Quotes
Quotes
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.
-
Phyllis Diller
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
-
Phyllis Diller
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
-
Phyllis Diller
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
-
Phyllis Diller
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
-
Phyllis Diller
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
-
Phyllis Diller
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
-
Phyllis Diller
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
-
Phyllis Diller
My own laugh is the real thing and I've had it all my life.
My own laugh is the real thing and I've had it all my life.
-
Phyllis Diller
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