Author: Steven Wright

Quotes

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

- Steven Wright

What's another word for Thesaurus?

What's another word for Thesaurus?

- Steven Wright

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

- Steven Wright

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

- Steven Wright

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

- Steven Wright

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time... I think I?ve forgotten this before.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time... I think I?ve forgotten this before.

- Steven Wright

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.

- Steven Wright

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

- Steven Wright

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

- Steven Wright

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